I'm not sure I have exactly the words to express this. But I'm going to give it a shot.

I don't know if you guys have heard on the news that the British government offered an official apology to Alan Turing. I'm a bit late in reporting on this, and I wasn't going to because, well, you don't need me to get you to read the news. But then I came across this post.

Alan Turing was the man who, during the second world war, 1) developed the technology which broke the german Enigma code, and 2) essentially invented the computer. He was, in my opinion, the most deserving man in his generation of a Nobel. However, he was gay, and this being illegal in 1954, he was offered the options of prison (where I don't want to dwell on how he would have been treated) or chemical castration. He chose the option of suicide via an apple injected with cyanide.

Normally, homophobia - and just about every form of bigotry or prejudice - makes me angry, but the only response I have to this is intense sadness. I think the most stupid thing - it's in the post I linked to above - is this quote:  "Fortunately, the authorities at Bletchley Park had no idea Turing was a homosexual; otherwise, we might have lost the war." This is why the only kind of prejudice I tolerate is the one against wilful ignorance and stupidity.

In summary, 50 years ago we hounded a war-hero and genius to death.

So, you know how I said I might be on hiatus for a couple of days?

...Yeah. Well. In my defence, I'm sick. I've been feeling generally a bit run-down for the past few days without much idea why, so it was actually a bit of a relief to wake up one morning with my sinuses all blocked and my head pounding. Sort of.

Ohterwise, Uni is *fantastic* and I'm a little homesick but only when I'm feeling sick, really, cause no one's making me cups of tea. Still. My flatmates are awesome, my lectures a combination of okay and very cool, the campus is gorgeous, and I'm doing various extra things that are qite cool too: viz, ninjutsu, archery, SF&F soc. Which is mainly SF movies and pizza and pubs, but I am *so* down with that.

Also, my Scottish accent is gone without a trace, except when I phone home. Due to there being Canadians in my flat, I sometimes go from English to Canadian *halfway through a sentence*. Which is, apparently, most amusing.

*waves to f-list* so that's how I'm doing. Awesome, with a side of sick. How goes it for you?

Okay, so I'm not actually going till Sunday, which is - *peers at clock* - two days away, now.

[Just realised I typed 'sinday' instead of sunday. How freudian *g*]

BUT - I am ridiculously excited, and thought I'd share my 1.30am hyperness. Also, You might not see much of me for the next, say, week or so while I get settled in and whatnot.

Wordcounts: Can't remember exactly where I was when I posted last, so I'll guess.

D&R: 1618
Otherworld (which really needs a proper name): 3,076

This slow-but-steady thing is pretty cool, even though I haven't done much recently due to OMGPAPERWORK and packing.

So, nothing productive was achieved today. Nothing. I've been staring at these photos for the past while, and thought I'd share. And no, no, I'm clearly not in one of my 'and I sometimes do boys' moods.

( Cut for photos )

Brought to you by my workout-undeterred inappropriate urges. Also, repeated watchings of 'Cherry Bomb' where I *totally* have a thing for Tatum but won't post a photo because, um, some of you know what *I* look like and might wonder about my narcissism.

Recently I've been participating in Holly Lisle's Write A Book With Me challenge on her blog. Basically, she posts her daily wordcount and novel progress, and you post yours in comments. It's a surprisingly gentle motivator; the idea is that small daily wordcounts are the way to go to finish things.

So. Since I spoke to you last, oh livejournal, I have:

-Wrestled with my block on 'Dirt and Rainwater' and beaten it into submission with more plot
-Written 2841 words of aforesaid, and
-Written 1407 words of my Busman's Holiday* Project, currently labelled 'Otherworld' through lack of anything else to call it.

That's a fair few words in not very many days *pleased*. D & R currently sits at 14588, and Otherworld is 7237 words. I think I'm just over halfway done with D & R, so it'll end up 25-30k, and Otherworld is going to be at least 50k, if not something ridiculous like 80k, cause there's so damn much story in that one. Still. Oh, enthusiasm and motivation, how I have missed thee.

In other news, I've been brushing up my maths in preparation for starting Uni. I fear it may have atrophied somewhat, and I want to, you know, hit the ground running. So excited about going! 12 days and counting :).

*A Busman's Holiday project is one which I write as a holiday from my main work, and use to bribe myself into getting words on my main WIP.

In two weeks, I leave home and move to a different country.

I'm going to Birmingham Uni! Yay. On the course I wanted.

And, uh. I'm kindof...sad. Just as I was getting to be friends with my parents.

I am so weird.

Wow, f-list, you were busy yesterday. I'll comment later, but I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still reading :)

Anyway, the really big new is that I GOT UNSTUCK. Long-suffering friends will rremember Dirt and Rainwater, which I posted about a few days ago without much hope, since I've been stuck on it for, like, a year. No longer!

Turned out, to write this I needed (amongst other things) to stop hating Ginny and start understanding her. I have to go back and fix a few scenes just before the stuck-point, but I know what I need to do so I'm just writing onward until I run out of steam, then I can go back and revise.

In this story, essentially, Voldemort screws people up without being physically present, and trying to make your friends into who you think they should be is a bad idea. See? The story might be dark and chilly and feature Slightly Disturbing Ginny and Sick Harry and Angsty Draco, but the themes are all happy and fluffy! Acceptance and understanding, people!

I've been getting roughly 500 words a night the past few nights, and lots of small plot and character related insights. This, dear f-list, is my happy place, made slightly happier by virtue of the ice cream sundae I shared with my mum yesterday.

So. Other than a few bits and pieces I probably won't post, the main things you might see if I get my arse in gear are:

-That finished John/Rodney SGA novella, provisionally titled Sand In My Shoes, that needs some editing and would love some beta attention, but I don't know if I have the patience/volunteers willing to put up with me. But I really, *really* am going to post that. Once I get over my posting nerves.

- A H/D EWE fic gaining 1000 words a day at the moment under the filename of 'Otherworld' because I don't know what on earth is happening. It's a little insane, it's either a comedy with intrigue bits or a mystery with crackish bits, and I'm not sure which. Also, Harry swaps bodies with himself.

-Dirt and Rainwater, because I was so attached to it that I *gasp* actually managed to post it, but then made it about 20 000 words longer. If only I could figure out what on earth happens next.

I've been light on fic recently, which makes me sad, because I sure as hell haven't stopped writing it. missdewey, will you be up for listening to my IM story rants any time soon? 4am my time is no longer an obstacle :)

So.

I still love you, livejournal. I have missed you. And now that I finally, finally, *finally* have a laptop again, I'll be around much more often. Really. It helps that I also have a life, now.

Things of interest (to me, mostly):

-I went to see U2 at Hampden Park last week with my dad. EPIC. Really. No other words.
-In one month, I'm moving to Birmingham to go to University and study Maths and Physics. Until you have seen me receive my confirmation letter and bounce up and down while squeaking at frequencies only dogs can hear, you cannot know the heights of my excitement.
-Um. That's it, really.

Oh. And it's getting truly embarrassing how much fic I have on my hard disk that hasn't been shown to anyone except the Microsoft helper icon. Seriously, there's about 100,000 words of it at the very least.

*mwah*

Several things have happened since we last spoke, o livejournal.

-I got flu, and wasn't really healthy for a good few months.
-My laptop gave up the ghost, and I'm still scrounging time on other people's
-My life is now accompanied by Rufus Wainwright (don't kill me, cobweb_diamond)
-I've found a well-paying job, starting this summer.
-I've almost died of stress and fail, several times, and turned into a hermit soaking in apathy at precisely the wrong moment.

So. Right. How is everyone?

PS: I don't really like opera, but am determined to see Prima Donna. On a scale of 1 to you creep me the fuck out, how weird does this make me?

I finished a fic. I opened my word document, wrote the last two scenes, typed "THE END" in large, encouraging letters, and rejoiced. I have finished something, and wow is that a happy place to be.       
            
( In which I make meta into navel-gazing )

Edits ahoy, I think. I've never accomplished this to my satisfaction with a "long" fic (ie longer than, say, 7k), but I really ought to post something I've written for once, instead of declaring it unfit for sight by other people and hiding it in my hard drive. Really could use a beta, too. Wish me luck!

ETA: To which end, I'm going to take draft 0.5 off LJ then repost the finished version without the beta filter. If you feel like donating your eyes for a test-read, comment and I'll email it.

Surprise! I'm really not dead. I've just been suffering from a chronic lack of time recently - but, as the Frenchman says, if you never take time, how can you ever really have time?

Some of the more interesting things I've done have included:

-Cambridge interviews (plus an exam. I have no idea how any of it went, so I guess I'll find out in early January).
-Preparation for and execution of a Christmas Concert, in which I was in literally everything except the solos (because, duh, I'm neither a tenor nor a harpist).
-VIP Physicist's visit of Birmingham University - the place I'm totally going if Cambridge decide I'm too short or something. Or maybe even if they don't, because it's just that cool.

There's more that I can't remember just at the mo, and will sprinkle into later posts, but most of the rest of what I've been doing just isn't all that interesting. F-list, especially but not limited to missdewey , anthimaeria , bironic , cobweb_diamond and tacitus_3 , I still love you and please link me anything interesting or that you want me to see that I might have missed during the phase where I did not switch on my computer.

I seriously need to clean this place out, what. New icons, that sort of thing.

So, hey, I've been cleaning out my hard drive (which was, christ, so very overdue), and I found this little thing hiding in the depths of a 'bits and pieces' folder. I gave it a quick polish off; back when I wrote it, I was a bit obvious and too fond of long adverbs *winces*

It's dated 2006 *headdesk*. I can't even remember writing it, or if I wrote it for anything...oh well. Enjoy.

Title: A Rock and a Hard Place.
Author: celebriangel .
Pairing: H/D
Summary: Draco remembers...
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Not exactly a happy fic.


  

 Very hopped up on industrial-strength coffee and natural hyperness. I can't seem to slow down enough to read anything, so I thought I'd type at superhuman speed instead *watches flying fingers*. 

So.
So. I spent far, far too much money on books and assorted stationery. But it made me happy, so it was *totally* worth it. *happy sigh*. 

I've also been really obsessed ith short story collections recently. I always think my writing curve follows my reading curve with a slight delay - what I read, I invariable start writing. This is good for me, I feel. I've gone through a short-fiction phase (which taught me, basically, how to construct a sentence and make each word count and not write crap dialogue and inner-monologue and cliches and whatnot. Basic sentence and word-level writing mechanics), and an OMGlong Phase (which is patiently trying to teach me how to construct a plot that makes sense. With, you know, a structure). I'm hoping for a Short-story phase* which can be a lesson in consolidation because my writing is subservient to my whims and otherwise that lesson won't happen. 

* - Ah, in case it wasn't clear, by Short Fiction I meant drabble-ficlet length, say, less than 1k. By Short story, I meant  the sort of thing that gets published - you know, 5-7k or so. At the moment, I get to 7 k then happily sail on to 12k, 15k...at which point I realise that the word 'short' is completely inapplicable. Which, you know, blech.

Okay, so I haz an iPod! *Excited* I think I might be in love. It's skinny and black and has 160GB of space.

So! Revelling in my music obsession, I gacked this meme from cs_whitewolf:

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

I was given 'F', which was insanely hard, so I decided to upload my favouritest 'E' song ever, too:

Feel Good Time - Pink
Fix You - Coldplay
False Alarm - KT Tunstall
Fashion - David Bowie
Ecci Mundi Gaudium - The Mediaeval Baebes

From all the respective albums. I couldn't decide between "Fashion" and "Fame", but didn't want to post two David Bowie songs. If you'd like "Fame" I can definitely upload it.

The Mediaeval Baebes are a group of women who dress up in medieval dresses and compose and sing medieval-style songs with traditional instruments, and it's *fantastic*. Because I totally have an ancient languages kink.

I think I've worked out why I have such a kink for SGA podfic:

1. It gets me through the ironing with a smile. No, really.
2. I can have fic *anywhere*; and,
3. I have *OMGSUCH A THING* for voices, things read out loud, etc.

I used to listen to an audiobook every night when I was, like, 4, for years and years. And then I got a bunk bed.

I'm developing an inadequeacy complex about my Epic Fail at actually, you know, *finishing* anything. And with my poor strigoia taking a break to recuperate and most of my f-list not really caring about SGA, I have no ra-ra girl (or boy. I'm easy, you know) on the other end side of IM/an email to encourage me and browbeat me into writing and read sections and tell me things I hadn't thought of.

I need some new icons.

I'm going to see Amy MacDonald tomorrow! Although I am more excited, really, by the prospect of seeing my good friend Lorna again. 

(I feel like a Bad Person, or, worse yet, a Dull Person when I post about rl stuff here. But, you know. Thought I'd share.)

SGA Thing progress: 7.3k and counting

Status: I was really inspired yesterday, but had no time and went to bed all frustrated that I couldn't write, and now I have time but I'm feeling all kind of meh. I can see lots of problems that are going to need resolved, but I'm leaving that for the second draft. For now, goal = Finish This Damn Thing.

In other news, I ordered myself a lovely 160GB iPod classic, so's I can watch House and Queer as Folk and SGA and listen to podfic and indulge my *obsession* with music and never never run out of space and I can carry it *everywhere*, especially on the hour-long train journey every morning...

Yes. This is happiness-making; however, I am now poor again. Ah, well. Ho-hum.

This is a total distraction-from-writing post, in case you hadn't realised. I am a Bad Person; feel free to chastise me.

*Points to title*. Yeah. For, you know, the two people on my f-list who care. Maybe.


*headdesk*

Things I Need to Do:

1. Keep writing, hopefully to the end. Though I suspect I may have put the beginning in the wrong place - I intended it to be a short, 5k circular story, where the Big Reveal is at the end, and I can't do that now. Must fit it in somewhere.

2. Sort out theme. While I was writing, a new theme ("the one about seeing what's really there") set in and started breeding like rabbits.  Seriously. I have this whole running motif of things not being as they seem, and I only just noticed.

3. Figure out if this damn thing's a short story or a novella. If it's a short story, all I have to do is finish, and cut the extraneous 2k or so, leaving me with (I think) about 8k. If it's a novella, I need to fill in all the details at the beginning, incorporate more of the characters, allow the plot to broaden and find out where to place the important-scene-that-used-to-be-the-ending.

3a. (After Rereading) Okay, this thing's a novella. I can see where I've already incorporate other characters and hinted at much more theme and plot than I've actually written. Dear God. We're looking at at least 15k, here.

4. Make my plot make some sense. I need to give Rodney something to do, and figure out where the blue crossbow-brandishing aliens fit in.  Then figure out the actual details of important-scene-which-I-currently-have-no-place-for, which reads in my head as "Scene where something important happens between John and Rodney, that doesn't work out" at the moment.

5. Find someone to beta, to make sure I'm actually making some sense. And that I didn't break canon.

I have just been broken by a fic. It's called String Theory: A Concerto for Violin in D minor by
toft_froggy
.

-It's SGA, but since it's a very very AU fic, It doesn't matter if you haven't a clue what a stargate is or what SGA stands for, anyway.

-I'm not normally one for Very Very AU stuff, but it's a music AU, and the most fantabulous fic I've read in a long time. If you have a fic of mine on your to-read list, read this first! Seriously.

-Go read. Now.

Music AUs, especially ones that are *this good* are so hurty for me. Because I *know* I'm probably going to be some sort of mediocre physics graduate who ends up with an office job, and I'm far too flaky and moody for the music business, but whenever I read about someone (usually a violinist) who is, or read a story about them or watch a documentary or whatever, I hurt.

Must be kindof like wanting to be a pilot, but not having perfect vision.

So I can basically credit synecdochic  for inspiring me, reminding me that I can actually write, and kicking my ass into gear. Because, for anyone who cares, *I'm writing again*. Not little scenes here and there, although I haven't written all that much yet - but I can feel the surge of writerly thoughts inside my head. And it's fabulous, people.

Anyway. I've revisited TDIC, for anyone who remembers my MIP (Monster In Progress) from way back when. The first draft is finished; unsurprisingly, because I learn so much while I was writing it, there are humungous problems and inconsistencies therein. This is a list mostly for my own benefit:


Essentially, Big Rewrite Needed. Fixing the POV problems has helped me to see the other problems, and most of the scenes I hated re ones that feel odd *because* of the POV stuff, so I feel better about the story overall. With a bit (read: a lot) of work, it could be kindof awesome. Maybe. If I don't totally muck up the second drafting process.

In pursuit of my goal, I essentially deleted the first 3,000 words of crap and plunged us directly into the story, then rewrote the first bit so it now looks like this:


The most important things I've learned out of this, uh experience are:

1) Don't be scared of a story, dammit! It's your story, therefore anything you write comes out of your own head, therefore you can deal with it. There's no point in chickening out because you think you don't have the skills to deal with the issues it's throwing up. And by 'you' of course, I mean 'me'.

2) Never start a story without knowing what your themes are.  Weirdly, theme is far more important to the overall success of a story than you might imagine.

The themes that I can identify so far in this story are:

- "The one about how fear affects people."
-"The one about finding your own path."
-"The one about ownership and belonging."

Just so I don't forget. Hopefully, I've hinted at them in this first section (which needs rewriting, because I've just written that darn thing.)